All in a deity's work

God is certainly a hard-working deity. As if he didn't have enough on his hands smiting, answering prayers and advising George Bush on the Middle-Eastern situation, the Big Man has always made time to get involved in sports. Normally, of course, he favours the American scene (where he regularly enforces his plan on everyone from golfers to gridiron merchants) but, as Maradona will tell you, he has been known to get involved in soccerball from time to time. And what better occasion to revive his love affair with the beautiful game than Milan's Big Cup semi-final against the MU Rowdies, where, as any self-respecting Italian hack will tell you, the Lord himself didst step in to ensure Milan would get their shot at revenge against Liverpool on May 23.
"The San Siro gave us a blessed rain," hallelujahs Alberto Cerruti on the front page of today's Gazzetta dello Sport. "Water from the sky and goals that were divine." To be fair, the Rossoneri probably feel entitled to a bit of Holy favour - according to Gazzetta's Candido Cannavò, simply mentioning Istanbul to Milanisti sends them "back to the cruellest level of Hell". Which is still probably more enjoyable than sitting through Tuesday's semi-final between Chelsea and Liverpool, but Cannavò was quick to heap praise on Liverpool's Rafa Benitez. "Because of you, Milan had in their minds not only the goal of defeating the great Manchester," he kumbaya-ed. "But also the historic and slightly paranoid dream of revenge over Liverpool, over the nightmare of Istanbul. It is the final which the heavens and the people wanted."Sadly Milan's resident Supreme Being - Silvio Berlusconi - was rather less impressed with God's interference in his domain. "I serve as the motivator for this group whenever I can," wibbled the man who believed refusing to make the beast with two backs with his wife would motivate voters to reject the legalisation of marriage between Godless g@ys. "I always suggested using two points behind the striker as a way of upholding the attacking values of this club and taking advantage of our players' attributes." But talk is cheap. After his three goals helped put the Rowdies to the sword, the second coming of Kaka is what Milan will really be looking for in Athens.